Singh Ji

Vaheguroo Jee

My story isn't as inspiring as all of these gurmukhs, but none the less I shall tell.

I was born in Patiala, India and came to NY when I was a young singh. My parents were both amritdhari but not from the jatha. We have the Guru in our house and my parents did paat everyday. Sikhi never really attracted me at a young age. Although, my parents always tried to force it upon me, sending me to Sikh camps, and reciting the mool mantar on my way to school, those types of things. I was never into it with my heart. In high school I got with the wrong crowd, I began to drink, smoke, and do drugs. At a time in my life, I started trimming but not too much, just enough to hide it from my parents.

So the drugs, alcohol, trimming continued. And then I went to this Sikh camp and met this chardi kala uncle. We were working on a project and I went up to him to ask him a question, and we ended up speaking for an hour or two. He told me importance of Amrit, and how when he sees kids going into Sikhi it brings him great happiness. It was inspiring listening to him. I went home with my blind faith and not knowing the importance of Amrit at the time and told my parents I wanted to chuk Amrit. They were happy, but that phase passed in a few days. And I went back to my bad habits. I started going out with this girl, she was a very good girl. She was hindu punjabi, she had a very good heart and she hated everything I did. She tried to stop me but I went behind her back as well. My ego got in the way, thinking that I can do anything and no one can stop me.

Years later I went to camp again, and I took marijuana with me, me and a friend were planning to smoke it there....but the word got out that there was weed in the camp and I got caught (thank god). I can honestly say those days were the worst days of my entire life. I cried every minute was awake, and I cried and cried. I promise waheguroo je would never do anything again, and I was dearly sorry. The pain I put upon my parents was more than I ever thought. My mom fainted in hearing the news, I felt like lower than an ant at that moment Making my father and mother cry was the last thing I wanted.

After that a Sant came to my house, he was a very religious and my parents were talking to him and they thought it would be a good idea if I chilled with him for a couple of weeks. So we and a couple others went around the country. It didn’t really make a difference to me, but me and my girlfriend now were getting serious. It was our one year anniversary and I was too into her to think about anything else. I came home and school started and I got into the same habits. I was in 12 grade now, and back to my crowd and their ways. I did the same thing, but this time, I had guilt. I felt guilty every time I took a puff or drank a little. Soon after I stopped smoking, but I continued to drink. I went to a raesabhai and it was an awesome experience. I wasn’t really into it, but I met Bhai Manmohan Singh Ji. What a gurmukh he is, we spoke and he was soo awesome, and inspiring. It was like talking to a normal guy. And then I heard him to keertan that night, and it was hypnotizing. After that I went home and started doing Japji sahib, but that only lasted a week or so.

School was ending and I was about to enter college, my parents wanted to me to go India to learn the family business so I went. I went, and the commute to the factory was approx. an hour, I saw my chacha and dada Ji do paath in the car so I figure I mite as well do it. I started doing Japji sahib, and now I had more time, so I read the meanings that struck me like a dagger in the back. I realized how I was sooo stupid for everything I had done and had been wasting my life. I read the translations in the back of Gutka and it inspired me soo much, I felt low. I started wearing a kirpan, and I put it on and it felt soo good. It felt too heavy for me, I felt as I was no ready to wear it. Every time I would wear it, I would lose it, it would fall of. SO I got the idea, guru Ji was trying to send me a message.

I still drank and ate meat at that time. I went back to us and started college. I stopped eaten meat so after and drinking just never appealed to me anymore. I started wearing the 5 ks and doing my paah. (japji sahib, rehras and sohila). the morning downloaded Bhai Manmohan Singh Ji's keertan. He was soo inspirational to me, he sang with his heart and I would feel it. A feeling of ecstasy came over me as I listened to it, I never had felt this before I did that, and I wanted more. A Gursikh friend of mine had family in LA and he thought it would be a good idea to go to the LA smagam in November. SO we went. I was sooooooo excited to hear Bhai Manmohan Singh. On Thursday night, he did keetan. It was the best feeling I ever had at that point. All the drugs, alcohol and women could not compete with this. I stayed there and listened with my heart, tears rolled down my eyes, but I did not care. I just listened.

After the program we went to greet Bhai Manmohan Singh Ji. HE was a true Gurmukh, after doing just wonderful keertan he was doing sewa by cleaning the shoes. This was surprising to me I would have never in my wildest dreams would think that such a good keertane would do this. I thought he would be full of ego, but he wasn’t. After this, I do not know what happened. I just keep quiet, I could not say anything to him, and I just stared. He probably thought I was crazy..lol, but it was inspiring, no words had to be said.

I went home and continued on my path, I contemplated Amrit, and was dedicated to take it. BY now I was with my girlfriend for about 2 and half years. I broke up wit her before the LA samagum because of Sikhi but I went back out with her in Feb. of that following year. I gave into my feelings. I contemplated Amrit and thought I would take it at TO samagum in july.

Now only a month away, I began to question myself. I told my girlfriend about it, she was well aware of my position. She supported me, and I told her, if I took Amrit we could no longer be together. She agreed, but still supported me, but I knew deep inside her heart she did not want me to leave her. A week away now, I’m in TO. All these singhs, everyone was just soo inspiring, I have never seen soo many bibis with keskis. It was great, the keertan was awesome and the Sangat was even better.

Even now I was confused. I spoke with many gursikh and they encouraged and others said that I wouldn’t do it, that I would not be able to break up with my girl and other negative things, I ignored them. I did ardaas and asked for kirpa. Now, sat morning, after the program, the Amrit sanchar was at 1, its 12 now. A friend asked me if I was going to take it, I said I don’t know, because I truly did not know. I wanted to give my head to the guru but I’m not sure if he would take it IF I was READY to live to him. TO GIVE U ALL THE THINGS IN MY LIFE. I did not know, so the time came and I went in. I was still unsure at the time

I went in to meet the punj and I was STILL unsure, we sat outside doing chaupai sahib and mool mantar and I was scared. many questions came. I went to get naam. Now I was knew there was no turning back. The naam was give to me, and I was crying through the whole procedure. I stood there, with no feeling in m body, just standing there. I had no control over myself; my mine was one with the naam. It was the best feeling of my life. I don’t know, I just felt, nothing mattered anymore...nothing at all, everything was just a waste of time and energy.

Its been a less than a month now, and its been the best month of my life. Even though it was hard breaking up with my girl, the vaheguroo jee has helped me through that. What struck my mind was, when I chukd Amrit , on that day 2 years ago was when I got caught for weed. In two years Guru sahib has helped me turn my life around. Waheguru, I feel truly blessed. I don’t now how I did it, but I did. Many people ask me this question, and I do not know....this wasn’t in my hands....vaheguroo

I hope this has inspired some of u...I’m no gurmukh just a wannabe singh....

vaheguroo jeee