The Abusive Book

 Bijla Singh

The Abusive Verse Examined

First, let’s examine the verse a little bit and see how much inequality Mohammad has put forth in it.

1)   “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means.”

The verse implies that women are weak, defenseless and dependent which is why Allah chose men to take care of them. Women have to look up to men of their household for protection, food and shelter. Why can’t women protect themselves by learning self-defense? Why can’t they earn an honest living just like men and support means of the family? It is because Quran considers women incapable of doing such things and requires them to stay at home covered from head to toe.

Women in today’s society have proved beyond the doubt that they are not any less capable then men. Women are enlisted in the military and fight to protect their country. Women make up significant part of the work force in many countries. There are many women in the world who live alone as single, divorced or widows. Who should they look upon for protection? Or are we to assume that Mohammad could care less about women and simply wanted to establish men’s superior authority? How about men who become disabled due to a fatal accident or an incurable disease? Why are they burdened with the responsibility of protecting the women when they are incapable of taking care of themselves? Clearly, if Quran is to be taken as “word of God” applicable to all times and places then this verse needs to be abrogated because society is not the same as it was 1400 years ago.

2) “Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard.”

Women who are obedient of their husbands are “righteous”. Those who do not obey their husbands even when they are wrong cannot be righteous while men are completely free from such an obligation.

3) “As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct…”

This part of the verse explicitly states that if a husband is suspicious of his wife’s behavior or is afraid that his wife may not be as loyal (obedient) then he can take proper course of action stated in Quran. Words “disloyalty and ill-conduct” refer to disobedience not cheating on the husband. In case of cheating, the husband would simply get a divorce and this verse would not be applicable. This verse was “revealed” for bringing wife in obedience and that is when the husband if merely suspicious of her behavior. Quran permits men to act merely on suspicion without any solid evidence and punish their wives by the following three methods.

4) “…admonish them (first)…”

a) Giving verbal warning. According to Muslims this means reminding her that the husband is head of the household and her status is lower than her husband as ordained by Allah and she should be “obedient”. In other words, instead of reminding a woman about the sanctity of marriage and that she is an equal partner and holds the family together she is reminded of her lower status in Islam and superiority of the husband. This will lead her to seek companionship of someone who treats her equally, respectfully, with love and does not resort to punishing her on mere suspicions. Therefore, the verse in fact serves as a mean for women to cheat on their husbands instead of keeping them in the fold of marriage.

5) “…(Next), refuse to share their beds…”

b) Not sharing beds with them (wives). According to Muslims this refers to a husband sleeping in the same bed with his wife but not having intercourse with her which would make her grieve and force her to make things right. In our opinion, the reasoning couldn’t be more absurd. Abstaining from bed clearly means not sharing the same bed with the wife. Even if we assume that a husband is allowed to share the bed but not have sex, how is it a good solution? Instead of suggesting communicating properly to resolve the issue, Quran’s impractical solution is to deprive the woman of intimate relationship with her only life companion while the husband can go have sex with rest of the three (or however many) wives and/or sex-slaves (if he has any).

On one hand, Muslims are screaming about wife’s sexual satisfaction in “The Expendable Wife” article and on the other hand openly supporting husband abstaining from sexual intercourse with his wife. How, then, will the wife be sexually satisfied during the time of abstinence? What if she is not being obedient because her husband is forcing her to do something unwillingly? What if she doesn’t grieve and finds herself another sex partner or engages in the “secret act” which is forbidden in Islam?

What if a wife is cheating on her husband due to ill-treatment and abuse from her husband? Depriving her of sex will not benefit the marriage or the family because she will suffer even more while the husband is free from any responsibility to make things right. If for the sake of argument we assume that the wife is cheating on her husband because of sexual displeasure then clearly abstaining from bed is the worst possible solution because she will continue to have illicit relationship with another person and not care about the second method of punishment. This solution is impractical from all angles. Muslims claim that an “obedient” wife will try to make things right but a true obedient wife who loves her husband and marriage will not engage in “ill-conduct” to begin with. And what would cause an “obedient” wife who will presumably grieve on her bed to cheat on her husband in the first place?

Quran presumes that it will be the wife who would put marriage in jeopardy and not the husband. Could it be that the thought of a man cheating on his wife never occurred to Mohammad’s mind because he had already offered them four wives and unlimited sex-slaves in this world and 72 virgins and rivers of wine in heaven? Impracticality of Islamic solution is beyond foolishness. How many people in the world used this method (abstaining from bed) and saved their marriages? We wait for Muslims to bring out some evidence.

<< Previous                                                                                                                                                                 Next >>